Hello Sir, SHABOT SHALOM!
I think its time I finally wrote your B-Day Poem!

I’m a bit later then usual, I’m quite sorry I’ve just been busy running around my FAVORITE SCHOOL.
And then of course there was a little hiccup last week, no big deal I just dropped my phone in the POOL!

Anyways the whole town knows the great ASOP’s FABLES would never forget about your BIRTHDAY
Unlike @NikiGinsberg, who every time she hears Jake Sing, falls in LOVE, and completely forgets he’s GAY!

I wish you a Happy 27th Birthday sir, I LOVE U man, I can’t believe we’ve made it this far
Coming to you Live from somewhere in Smallwood, the whole world is still wondering…. “Why did you hit that car?!”

I’ve known you for so long, What’s its been now like over 20 years?!
What’s even more impressive is, I’m pretty sure I still owe you about 8,000 BEERS!

Seriously though, we did it, we beat THE SYSTEM, and we’ve had a BLAST almost the ENTIRE TIME
No matter what, we’ve shown up like true gentleman, and just told anyone who bothered us……”We’re just here so we don’t get fined!”

Seems like just yesterday Big Dave and the Old man were coaching us on the ICE
Speaking of that Burbon Legend, did you hear he sold my car…. Hey Dad, That wasn’t very nice!

Sk8Hard and Soccerstriker9, we’ve been through a lot, who knew we would last this long
I heard a funny rumor by the way, @MadisonBeer just came out with a new song?!!!

Wow seems like just yesterday we were all messing around playing sports in Jordan’s backyard
10 years later, not much has changed….. He’s still a FULL FLEDGED RETARD!

What’s going on with our Fat Friend Kurtis is he still blowing all of his parents money on Women’s Tennis matches and Caymus?
Or is it true he’s graduated to spending all their CASH on PRIVATE HELICOPTER rides, now that “FRAT DAVID” is OFFICIALLY FAMOUS!

Where’s Justin Miller at, I heard he finally decided to create his First MY-SPACE page?
Let’s all just pretend like its still cool, Kinda like we do with JB, who thinks he’s MURDERING LIFE on his McDonald’s MINIMUM WAGE!

So Brad and Siegelman have now moved into a new penthouse suite, what a lovely couple those two make.
Remind me how we let them win a Burbon again, that’s even worse then the time we let Adam win for goodness sake!

Speaking of the grandest LEAGUE OF THEM all, its almost time for MOCKING season
-450 Alex Korn won’t show up for the ROLL-OFF….. for absolutely NO REASON!

I see the SLEV TRADE EXCHANGE has already gotten an early jump start on the new year
He decided to trade @LizzieOrent, for a package of picks; including @NatalieShwartz, some Marlboro Lights, and a fresh rack of Beer!

Is it true that David Chase finally put young Richard Parker to Rest?
All I know is, I don’t care if they never win a BURBON….. THE COLLUSION BROTHERS ARE THE BEST!

By the way I would like to formally welcome you to the 2 Ring Club…
I can’t believe it took you so long to catch the CJ Spiller 1st Overall Mockery of a Shlub!

It would be a crime if I didn’t mention your new girlfriend in this beautiful Haiku
Afterall She might be the GOAT, Lauren De Saint Martin is a better poet then ME AND YOU!!!!

Alright I think its time for me to say my farewell I’ll try to keep this one short and sweet
Can I ask you one favor though, how bout this year while your drafting, YOU TRY NOT TO CHEAT!!!

It’s about two years wayyyyy past overdue, but I’m pretty damn positive I still haven’t finished repaying one of our “USUAL BETS”
I’ve been avoiding the BIKINI WAX like borenstein in 2015, but I think its time for this LANISTER TO FINALLY PAY HIS DEBTS!

Farewell my friend this has been quite a pleasure, I hoped you liked this year’s birthday RHYME
I’m gonna go take a shower, have a beer, maybe even sleep with an UNDERAGE female in Indiana tonight…. WHO KNOWS IF I’LL HAVE THE TIME!

Don’t worry I’ve made up for it by writing a short NOVEL!

This folks, is the REAL STORY of how the Gutter was born, the wild journey its been so far, and where the Gutter goes from here.

Some of it might be repetitive, but I figured I would put it ALL on paper now that everything has finally settled down, and the gutter begins a new chapter.

****This will be VERY LONG, I don’t care I want all the information down on paper for myself at the very least.

But if you do have some free time and your bored on this lovely friday afternoon, its worth the read, it might even INSPIRE YOU just a bit to make some changes, maybe take some risks in life who knows!

Away we go…..

…………………………

Ok wow, this trip to NYC has been wild and very eye opening. So much has changed since I left for LA over 5 months ago back in November.

Back then I hadn’t even been to NYC in well over a year. I was bartending on long island at a spot called the “MEETBALL PLACE”,(yes that’s how it was spelled two E’s!) just to pay for my ticket out.

With not much money, I packed a bag, and went go sleep on my friends couch on the other side of the country in search of what I wanted to do with my life.

I didn’t make any big announcements. No Facebook, no snapchat, nothing(still hadn’t joined Instagram at that point). I just told my friends and family and set off on a mission. I still always believed in myself, never lost faith even when times were really tough.

Now I was out to prove not just to them, but to everyone who ever doubted me in life that I was dead serious about making something of myself, and I wasn’t going to let my circumstances get the best of me.

5 years after going crazy my heart still was telling me that LA was the place where I was meant to be so that’s where I had to go. I had no regrets in my life up until that point, and I wasn’t about to sit around in my parent’s basement in New York until I was 30 and watch life pass me by.

What was my dream? What was my purpose? How could I turn things I’m passionate and really good at into a potential a career and make money doing them? How can I start to make an impact on other lives by inspiring people with my story of surviving serious Bi-Polar Suicidal Depression?

In reality what I was searching for had been what I had always known I wanted all along.

I wanted to somehow figure out a way do EVERYTHING I LOVED; be happy every day of my life, work in entertainment, run my own business, work with all my friends, build a brand, have freedom to work on my own terms, connect with amazing people, be creative, play sports, make people laugh, make an impact, enjoy the simple things in life, spread awareness about the diseases I fight daily to overcome, travel the world, make my family proud, try to spread love and positivity everywhere I go, and those are just to name a few.

Finally something I’ve always dreamt of (besides getting rich and building a Frat House in LA of course), was to make a difference in the world helping as many people as possible(even if I wasn’t sure how at the time), and leave a legacy one day that I would be proud of.

Helping people just always felt good to me, it’s almost like a drug, its addicting once you start to realize how a simple thing such as even giving someone a small compliment can make a difference in their day. These past few years I always wondered to myself if there was a way in which I could make an even bigger impact in this world, and do something incredibly valuable for other people. I thought maybe sharing my story about fighting off suicide could help save someone else’s life one day.

The problem of course was I had to start with helping myself first. If I’m not healthy and successful, then how could even begin to inspire and lead others in a way in which I thought I could.

I know it all might sound crazy to the average person, but if your not going to DREAM BIG for yourself, then who will? (Big grandiose ideas and wild dreams are also pretty standard for Bi-Polar people, but I’ll save that for another time)

So where did that leave me? Well I had to begin somewhere, and I certainly wasn’t going to build an empire or become a credible source of knowledge overnight unfortunately.

This was going to take patience and a ton of hard work. More then anything this was going to take a lot of courage to put myself out there. To be exposed and open myself up to criticism and judgement. Once you put things out there on the internet there’s no going back, they last forever, so this wasn’t to be taken lightly.

The first and most important step was to figure out a vehicle/platform for me to begin to deliver my message and find my voice again.

I wasn’t sure exactly how, but I knew I was going to have step out of the shadows at some point. I originally was hoping I could be anonymous. I’ve never been afraid of much in this world, but after plastering the internet with wild and absurd things that I had no recollection of, you can see why I would be slightly hesitant to put any content out there again.

I realized eventually if there was no identity behind the words I was saying, it wasn’t ever going to have the same impact that I wanted it to.  I needed to be front and center as the leader of this journey I was about to embark on. If I was ever going to start a movement then there could be no holding back.

The challenge wouldn’t be easy. I needed to first gain credibility back and 5 years after being locked away in an insane asylum, I had never formally spoken about it or announced what happened to me to the world.

My Facebook statuses certainly never said anything like…..

“Hey guys, I’M OFFICIALLY BI-POLAR NOW!”

“Just got back from the HOSPITAL…. FEELING KINDA CRAZY!”

“Anyone know any good doctors? I’ve officially been declared INSANE!”

I think most people just assumed I took a ton of drugs, partied to hard, and LOST MY MIND.

All joking aside, I just told the entire story of what happened to everyone that needed to know and that I really cared about, that’s all that mattered.

Could you blame me? Most people when they hear your Bi-Polar might never look at you the same way again. What about potential employers? Forget about it, I would never get a job if they knew my “condition”.

I was broke, doing a ton of soul-searching, and had no clue how I could even begin to create the life I wanted for myself.

Enter…. “The Gutter”.

The idea came to me while I was sitting in my parent’s basement.

I figured hey I could say its like I’m reporting “Live from the basement”, and make fun of myself and the world around me in a humorous way.

The thing is the basement was too narrow and didn’t really sound that funny to me.

Hmmm lets see, oooo what’s that over there? One of my best friends changed his fantasy football team name while he was in last place to “Live from the gutter”.

THAT’S IT!!!

THE GUTTER!

LIVE FROM THE GUTTER!!

THAT’S HILARIOUS!

It can have so many meanings also because the gutter can just be symbolic for being down in the dumps in life. Ughh its perfect, yes this is going to be the name of my blog, I love it!

Little did I know that he was actually referencing a DRAKE SONG… I had no clue!

I had been writing my blog for well over a month and hadn’t even told him about it before he explained to me that’s what it was from.

Ooo well too late, I love this name I’m rolling with it! If DRAKE ever comes after me about it one day that means I’m doing something right.

The truth was I had tried to start a blog briefly many years earlier but I didn’t enjoy it. I have sort of a Love Hate relationship with writing. For starters I’m terrible at it. I can’t spell, I have horrible grammar, no sense of punctuation, and I don’t know how to form a correct sentence to save my life.

On the other hand, I’m creative and it’s a great way for me to get my thoughts out there in a way that can be consumed by people in a meaningful way. I love writing articles for my fantasy football league, funny emails to my friends, and of course my phenomenal yearly birthday poems to one of my best friends.

I knew I had some talent, but would that translate to blogging? I also knew I didn’t want to write about sports again. I love Sports, but it’s just kind of boring and not funny to write about.

So screw it, lets just blog about all the stupid shit I’m doing. I’m fucking nuts this should be fun. Not that anybody will want to read it but its something interesting to write about for me that’s for sure.

So I started with a couple funny blogs right before I left just to get started.

I figured this could basically be used as an Internet Journal/Diary more so then a blog even. I was keeping it private, what did I care if I sounded absurd and shared everything in my life, I’m an open book anyways!

Then once I got to LA that’s when the real madness started. I had worked really hard to get a job right away and I got a sick gig by my 3rd day. Unfortunately it only lasted one month, it just wasn’t the right fit.

After I got fired I had cash to burn and I was “living the dream”. Party by night, blog about it the next day.

It was fun and wild,  I was being adventurous. All with the goal of trying to meet new people, plot my next moves, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life.

That’s when I met my first LA film guy while I was out one night with my sister and her boyfriend who were visiting.  They introduced me to him, we clicked immediately.

I knew right then that he was the guy to finally film the first “project” I had in mind. I wanted to tell my Bi-Polar story to the world and put it out there for people to see. I needed a foundation for everything else I was going to do afterward.

I figured I would release the videos first then I could tell people that I was blogging. Or so that was my plan at the time.

We filmed together one day and it was awesome. He was great and I went on about 40 minutes worth of ranting gold!

We then needed some time to edit the videos as there was so much footage to sort through.

Meanwhile, while this was going on the bachelor had just started. Before the show aired I found out my old friend Corinne was going to be on it. So I got back in touch with her and told her how excited I was to watch her, after all, I was a Bachelor Fan.

Little did I know that she was going to take the nation by storm right away like she did. I was happy for her she was hilarious and so funny, she was the star of the show!

After two weeks though it became evident to me that Corinne’s antics weren’t being as well received as I thought. I was actually annoyed that everything I read about her was so negative. They were all making her out to be some “Villian”.

Soo I decided fuck it, if nobody is going to stick up for her, I will. I figured I would write a blog defending her and if my best girl friend and sister deemed it funny enough, I would post it on Facebook where other girls might find it funny as well.

I made sure my entire blog was private besides just the “Corinne article”, I wasn’t ready for anyone to see the other stuff yet(way to vulgar and ridiculous).

I posted it monday night during the 3rd episode of the show.

I guess it was pretty funny because that shit spread like wild-fire organically on Facebook. So much so that the “Reality Steve” guy got a hold of it somehow and put it on his site that Tuesday morning.

Then the craziest thing happened. Someone from Us weekly texted me! At first I thought my friends were pranking me I swear.

Short Summary of the convo: 

Us Weekly: “Hey Keith, this is US weekly we saw your article about Corinne and wanted to speak with you more about it over the phone are you available?”

Me: “How did you get my number?”

Us Weekly: “We have everyone’s number”

Woahhhhh CREEPYYYYYYYY!!!

Anyways after they assured me they would only say nice things about Corinne, I decided I would answer some of their questions, sure, no big deal right?

Contrary to what people think I wasn’t offered a penny by them or anyone else that first posted about my story.

They told me it was just going to be some small part of a story, I was like cool, didn’t think much of it.

They knew what they were doing though, they were going to unbeknownst to me call me her “Ex Boyfriend” and release a monster article about what I said the next week.

Besides the headline that attracted people to it, the major take away from the story was that Corinne wasn’t actually crazy, she was normal! But of course half the people don’t read the story they just see headlines and my picture plastered everywhere.

Facebook went WILDDDDD. My phone was buzzing that morning like I was Lebron James I had 87 messages by noon.

Every single site and their mother picked up the article all the sudden I was on GOOGLE!!!

What the fuck was going on why was I everywhere all the sudden holy shit.

Then Hollywood life got in touch with me they wanted me to speak about Corinne. I figured what the heck I could do one more interview whatever. They asked me 50 questions and of course the headline they went with was about “her boobs being real and being a great kisser” naturally.

More Facebook “mini viral gold” ensued obviously.

This was my first foray into media and journalism. I was clueless. All I knew was people were blowing me up and calling me famous that day. It was pretty hilarious.

In the days that followed I legit had little girls, women my age, and even random weird dudes stalking me about nonsense it was all very funny.

Side note:

I hate when people use the world Famous, especially when someone is so far from it. I never was and might never be, and that’s certainly not how I will define my life. People think they know me and that’s all I want, but trust me there’s so much more to life then Fame.

“Fame” is fleeting. Fame doesn’t last. It comes and it goes.

What does last is Impact. Legacy. Success. Making a difference in other people’s lives.

Those are the things I’m chasing on a daily basis.

Is real fame cool? I’m sure it is, you get free shit and can do and say whatever the hell you want to name a few. There’s also plenty of downsides I bet. I would rather just live my life and let the chips fall as they may. I’m sure if I ever become a SUPER SUCCESSFUL entertainer one day then fame might be a natural a bi-product of that but I’ll cross that bridge if I get there.

The thing is with everything that’s happened forget the headlines, “mini viral jewish scene bullshit fake fame”, the result of all this attention I was given, was that I gained exposure to some of the other things I was doing. As in my Bi-polar Video’s.

The impact they had on people were more than I could have hoped. I had a ton of people saying how I inspired them and one girl who I didn’t know mentioned that one of my videos had helped her fend off her own suicidal thoughts.

That my friends has made all this worth it in itself. Period.

..

Anyways back to what happened after that Us Weekly article broke and the internet was set a flames with my birth name everywhere.

Corinne obviously caught wind off it and right after she got out of taping an Ellen segment she called me yelling at me because her boyfriend/current fiancée was upset with her.

I wrote my last blog about all this so I’ll skip ahead a bit but basically I thought everything was good. I decided after we met that night it was time to release my Bi-polar videos now that nobody thought I was crazy and I had people’s attention I might as well do some good with it.

The videos got great reviews and as mentioned above I was really proud of what happened afterward.

Then I decided it was time to really start to branch out on more social media platforms proactively and expand what I was trying to do.

Basically the Corinne stuff going viral and everyone thinking I was normal officially gave me my “License to be my Crazy” card back again.

I finally started an Instagram page but in my own ridiculous way of course, and I started to be more active on Snapchat.

I got good responses to both, but my Snapchat has really taken off.

I guess people love how real and ridiculous I’m being. I’ve been told my entire life that I should be on Reality TV, but if people haven’t realized it yet, Snapchat is everyone’s personal reality television. Some people are just way more interesting then others.

Nobody watches that reality crap on TV anymore, people are on their phones 24/7. Now of course I know I’m never going to go viral on Snapchat or instagram for that matter, that’s not my goal by any means. But just having fun everyday when I’m bored, and interacting with people that I wouldn’t normally talk to unless it was on snapchat, has been incredibly fun and worth every second.

It’s a small sample size but clearly whatever I’ve been doing has been working becuase the feedback has been great, I keep gaining new followers, and my attention rate is crazy high.

I try to do my best to entertain and put out content as often as I can. I really love video content even more than blogging and that’s where I’ve started to focus my attention more on recently.

Anyways it was time to plot my next move and after being contacted by Elite Daily and Total frat move to name a few, I figured it was time to go for the big leagues, this was my shot.

There was only one company who was at the top of the game when it comes to blogging and funny content in my eyes and that was BARSTOOL SPORTS.

I figured if I could get Corinne on Barstool it would not only be great for her to expand her audience, but in exchange all I wanted was a meeting with the President Dave Portnoy.

It was a brilliant plan and it almost worked until it all crumbled apart at the very last minute. Corinne decided NOT to show up the night of the show because she thought I was yelling about being her Ex, and one of my friends accidently tipped her friend off about the one T-shirt I had made. (She had her own clothing line in the works)

Yes funny story I made “Abe Lincoln took naps” shirts. They were actually really funny and I even copywrited the phrase. So fuck you Corinne, I own that shit still!

That was the 4th day I was in NYC. I only planned on staying a week tops and going back. But after that moment, I said I’m not leaving until I get a meeting with Dave Portnoy and give him my pitch on why I should work for Barstool.

Well in the meantime while I was trying to find my “In” back to Barstool, I set up a couple of meetings in new york and basically after raging a full-scale fake internet war with my friend, moved back into his FRAT HOUSE of an apartment that I had once helped to create.

It’s been nothing but madness as many of you following me have seen. While I was attempting to find my way back to meet with Dave, I naturally did tons of partying in-between. I was excited to see my friends and hang with them again, a little(A LOT) of fun wont kill anyone.

Eventually I found my “In” back to barstool through an old friend and that was my opportunity or so I thought. Problem was Dave was apparently not as approachable as I had hoped.

I was going to have to get his attention some other way.

Then out of nowhere on a random Wednesday from the heavens came Corinne again chirping at me. It was almost as if she wanted to give me attention I was confused, I was the one upset with her and she was ripping on me?

What the heck is she doing?!! She’s like an actual famous person now she’s got almost a million followers, she was just at the Oscars and Jimmy Kimmel Tonight, I’m minding my own business after she screwed me over, why did she feel the need to blast me “Keith Berman” all over E news!

Especially the guy that had been hiding all of her secrets from everyone!

Literally months earlier a guy from hollywood life told me I could have ruined the bachelor, given up all the inside info on her, made a ton of money for it, and gotten “famous” if I released all the dirt I had on her.

Most of my friends thought it was a terrible idea including me but some people were pressing me hard to do it. I didn’t want to be an asshole and sell myself out for any amount of money and some short-term fame, fuck that. Plus I thought we were friends, I wouldn’t ever do that to anyone, let alone someone I considered a friend.

This time though I wasn’t planning on holding back I was pist off and I was going to set the record straight. I started fielding offers and I was actually offered a couple thousand dollars for the story.

The problem was they were going to write it in their own words and I wanted to tell it my way and not release the fiancée’s name at the time because I didn’t want to get another kid involved.

Also I was offering the story back to barstool once again because I figured this could be my way in. They cover the bachelor hardcore, they have a show, why wouldn’t they want to release this bombshell info?!

Well they kind of dropped the ball on it once again and so I figured I’d just write my own blog, get some more press, who knows where that could lead, and tell the truth the way I wanted the story told.

In hindsight while the money would have been nice I have no regrets. What followed after releasing this blog was WILD as well. Corinne went BANANAS!

She started texting me hilarious things like “LAWYER UP” “YOUR SCUM OF THE EARTH” and did another interview with E bashing me everywhere! She even referred to me as a struggling actor! Unreal.

I’m sorry but after you read my blog if you think I’m not telling the truth about everything then you need to get your eyes checked.

Having (and winning) an internet fight with a “Temporary A-List Reality star”  was kind of hilarious at the time.

Plus E News had my picture plastered all over TV and Maria Menous was referring to me as a Blogger! That was pretty cool. When she starts referring to you as a blogger I guess you’ve officially been declared a blogger?!

Either way, I still couldn’t get my meeting with the man the myth the legend Dave Portnoy through emails and the contacts I had made at Barstool. But low and behold who showed up to my favorite bar in NYC(Bounce) the very next weekend?!

EL PRESIDENTE! (Dave)

I walked right over having already been there drunk for 4 hours sat down right next to him and chatted him up for 5 minutes. I may have rambled a bit too much but regardless he was listening to me the whole time, then he said he would answer my email this time and that he would meet me.

Me: “Do you want me to tell you what I want to discuss?”

Dave: “Save it for the meeting”

Well apparently either I was mistaken and “misheard him” or he’s not the nicest of guys and from what I’ve heard it’s the latter because he blew me off and said he was going away for 2 weeks and basically had no time for me! (At least he answered my email this time!)

Now I have ALL THE RESPECT IN THE WORLD FOR THIS MAN, what he has built and what he has accomplished so far its incredible. But under no circumstance do I think that gives you the right to be a complete asshole to everyone, and from what I’ve heard he is just that. I visited the office to watch a friends show a week earlier before I met him and I was honeslty shocked at how unfriendly the culture was there, shocked. Many people were complaining about others and apparently everyone thinks Dave is an asshole, or so they said.

Am I going to start a fight, fake war, or have any beef with them? Definitely not.

I RESPECT them still too much and they’ve done nothing wrong, I’m a nobody and they don’t owe me anything. Maybe I will even have an opportunity in the future to join forces with them who knows.

But I’m kind of happy all this has happened for now because it’s lit a fire under me that burns stronger than it ever did.

You see right now Barstool has no true competitors. Zero Competition. It’s pretty crazy but they haven’t had any competition in a long time, if ever, there’s nobody else playing in there space.

Well all that is about to change because the Gutter is going to start dancing.

The only way to get better is some good old healthy competition baby!

Bro bible, Total frat move, those websites are jokes nobody cares. It’s time for somebody to step up and make a big move, try and box with the big dogs.

Calling the gutter an Underdog wouldn’t do it justice. I’m 5 months in he’s got a 15 year head start. They are owned by a billionaire and worth a ton of money. I’m literally in debt and I have 400 Instagram followers. I’m like one rough night away from keeling over and dying, who knows!

But what I lack in money and resources right now I will make up for in scrappiness, creativity, and ingenuity.

I have the benefit of taking what they’ve done well and copying it, and what they’ve done wrong and learning from their mistakes.

I have so many ideas up my sleeve that I’ve been plotting for ages, as long as I live to see this thing through the gutter is going to change the game mark my words. I’ve done it before in other realms and I promise I will do it again.

……………………………………

The point is this though; the gutter isn’t about just me anymore guys, its a movement, it’s a mentality, its a lifestyle choice.

Everyone at some point in some realm of their lives winds up in the gutter. It can be your job, your relationship, money, family, friends something. But it’s what you choose to do once your there and how to stay positive throughout tough times.

The Gutter has already is already out here saving lives….. and we haven’t even scratched the surface for what this thing can become.

No more sex stories about me and my escapades we are pivoting people! I will attempt to make all blogs more relvant to the masses!

It’s time for the gutter to enter PHASE 2!

Live From the Gutter LLC has been registered!

WE ARE OFFICIAL FOLKS!

There will be a time and place for the “Tucker Max Stories” trust me. If you think I haven’t written down my Asylum stories or that time I outran a bear you don’t know me!

Right now its time to build this thing out and the more help I get from people the quicker this thing will take off.

My DREAM is for everyone that wants to be involved to be able to do the things they love, make money doing so, and live a happy life.

I’ve done a lot in this lifetime but the one thing I’ve never done is build a successful business by myself. I’ve worked directly under successful business owners, I’ve learned from them, I’ve studied them, I’ve read books on all sorts of successful people, and I’ve led the way on many successful endeavors unrelated to a personal business. Anyone who knows me or has seen me do some of the things I’ve done in the past whether it be coaching, oganizing events, playing sports, or any project I’ve ever put my heart and soul into, knows that when I want to get something done there’s no stopping me.

At the same time I’m one of the most self aware people you’ll meet and for everything I think I’m good at……. there’s about 20 things I SUCK AT! (writing being one!)

That’s where hopefully other people will come in and help until I can afford to pay people to work one day.

****I’ve gotten so much support already from some of my best friends, everyone whose chipped in and helped out in as big or little of a way as possible I can’t thank you enough. Even people who have just had nice things to say about what I’ve been doing or supported any little thing it means the world to me.

The only question now is who wants to come along for this ride with me. I can continue to do most of it alone, if that’s what it takes trust me I will. All I need besides food and shelter is access to the internet, my phone, my camera and my laptop. As long as I have a voice and a platform to speak on I can make moves all by my lonesome.

I look forward to more people joining the cause because the vision I have for this thing can do a lot of good in this world. I got an open door policy if you have any interest in literally ideas/suggestions/ getting involved you know how to reach me.

The GOAL is to be a Digital/ Social Platform for a variety of content that is relatable to a national audience.

There will be a SERIOUS SIDE and PLAYFUL SIDE.

The serious side will have motivational content and philanthropic mentality

Mental health will be a huge focus of the gutter because not only is it close to me but its one of the most unknown and misunderstood illnesses out there. Crohns disease is important to me as well but that’s just the start, as there are so many other charitable things I hope to get involved with.

The playful side will be delivering on the message I stated above, which is that life happens and it’s how you deal with it that separates you and makes us who we are. It doesn’t mean you need to be stuck in the gutter forever.

I’m just looking to be the leader of the movement and be an example for people that you can be positive and find happiness even when things aren’t going so well in your life.

I will personally be accessible for anyone who wants to reach out and needs support or just wants to talk about anything.

If you’ve made it this far into this essay then first I applaud you because that’s no easy task, and second, I hope that maybe you take not only what I’ve said now but what I stand for to heart.

I love everyone who thinks I’m just going to fail, or wind up back in new york permantly, keep feeding me baby,  I live for this.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I honestly don’t see enough people our age taking chances and chasing their dreams. Most people are playing it safe. They are comfortable and content. That’s fine, but ask yourself, are you going to be living with regret in 5,10, 20 years?

You see its crazy but even some of my BIGGEST supporters will still have doubts or throw some negativity my way occasionally. (Lets call it tough love and trust me I need plenty of it)

Just the other day one of my best friends and also my current “Brand Manager” told me that I technically have “nothing”. Or as she put it, all I have is a concept.

She’s not wrong by the way. Technically I don’t have much. I have a couple hundred Instagram and Snapchat Followers, a blog that has about 50,000 views, with 45,000 of those being related to a girl from the bachelor.

I don’t have that many blog or youtube subscribers, and I’ve made no money from any of these endeavors to date.(Shoulda taken that Corinne bribe money months ago and I’d be rich god damn’t!)

But then again, in so many ways she was so wrong. I have EVERYTHING NOW.

I have a PURPOSE.

I have a vehicle.

So many good things have now come from the creation of just this simple concept and idea I can’t even begin to quantify them.

I mean fuck I walk around the city wearing the Hat and people who have no clue are just friendly and say whattup, love your hat! I don’t what that means but I’ll take it!

I have a seat at the table, it might be a booster seat but it exists. I’ve built something for myself that has shown glimpses of success. The thing is its not based around one time only flash in the pan stuff, its based on talent. At it’s core right now I’m a talented entertainer, whatever that form of entertainment might be depends on the day. And talented people is what lasts in this world. Talent plus a LOT OF HARD WORK is what will take you where you want to go in life.

Nobody said it was easy. Nothing great that’s accomplished in this world ever is. I already told you guys what my dreams are I came out and said it. The thing is I’m living my dream right now because the pursuit of those things, the journey, that’s what it’s all about. Achieving those things is just the reward but the true dream is to be doing what I love and being happy everyday.

If that’s the case then I’ve already won.

I know what I want, I’ve found my purpose, and I’m going to keep attempting to do what I love until the day somebody puts me in the ground for good.

The gutter might continue to grow or cease to exist one day who knows we can always build something else. Maybe the gutter  will get big enough one day that DRAKE will SUE ME! That’s how we’ll know we really made it Gutter Kids!

Seriously though, the pursuit, the chase, the journey, that’s what its all about. Because once I get to the top of one mountain, I’m not going to stop. There will be another mountain to climb, another company to build, and another person to help.

Eventually I’ll have to go colonize the MOON!

It never ends, life is just one wild ride and way too many people decide to live life the way others want them to. Not me, I’d rather wind up in the gutter forever and go down in flames than live a life of mediocrity.

As far as all this partying goes, I’m not going to stop, and soon enough that will be part of the gutter business plan as well just you wait.

As for Corinne Olympios…. all I can say is THANK YOU CORINNE! Thanks for making out with me in Miami that one night and then 4 years later going on the bachelor and then by some miracle a blog I wrote about you went kinda viral!

You gave me my LICENSE TO BE CRAZY BACK!!! I don’t know how I will ever repay you.

She will always have a special place in the Gutter’s Heart, she helped build this thing and one day when her reality tv career fizzles I will be waiting with open arms to employ her as a Gutter Model! (I actually despite everything that’s happened between us wish her the best of luck with her career, maybe she’ll be the next Lauren Conrad who knows!)

Alright well that brings us to the present…..

Now that I’ve explained it in full detail, obviously celebration is in order and so tomorrow night at Bounce is the official PHASE 2: GUTTER LAUNCH PARTY. I got a table and I know that my best friends are coming, I don’t need anyone else to show up were gonna have a blast on our own I can promise you that. (And I got awesome Geo- Filters!!!)

If you do happen to stop by I look forward to seeing you.

After that next stop on the Gutter tour, INDIANA UNIVERSITY on Monday! I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Where I’ll be heading after that who knows!

But I am no longer a New Yorker I can promise you that. California is where I call home and I’d rather be the richest homeless man in Venice, then live anywhere in dirty NYC anymore.

Fuck it baby give me that crown, RICHEST HOMELESS MAN I’ll own it!

Then again I may have to come back to New York sometime next year to go toe to toe with Davey Pageviews one day, but we’ll broach that topic when the time comes.

Alright people sorry for the Harry Potter novel today that’s all for me you can find me on snapchat, won’t have time for much blogging out in Indiana!

Gone speed,

The Original Gutter Kid

Yes, Yes it does.

End of Blog.

Gone Speed,

Kieran Lee

I personally believe haircuts should fall somewhere in between the 10 dollar shitty ass great clips hair cuts, and the 200 dollar absurd your getting ripped off by someone haircut.

I’m pretty sure all my hair cuts growing up at the salon cost about 20-30 bucks. That included a hair wash and then you just had to tip the cutter.

That was for a very very legit cut, like upper end to me for a guys cut.

I mean besides my funny friend with long hair who pays 100 bucks a strand, I don’t see how much more of an upgrade you can get then those cuts.

Which brings me to LA. I needed to get my first haircut and so I asked my friend for his guy. He recommends a sick dude and I ask how much? He said it was 60 bucks which I thought was outrageous but that they do a half off first time discount.

Sooo not trusting anybody usually with my hair I decided might as well go get the fancy one first half off. I did and it was a fantastic cut! I got washed and then he took his sweet ass time on my hair I loved it.

Problem was the hair cut was actually too good and round 2 was gong to cost me double.

Then there was the matter of needing an emergency hair cut,  right before new years eve. So I of course had to go pay for a $70 all-in haircut which was ludicrous!

Now that its been almost a month again and time for another cut I’m wondering what’s the appropriate amount I should be willing to spend for a good haircut?

I mean I don’t trust those fools at great clips, I went to one in Indiana once and that was the end of it, they almost ruined my year!

On principal as a man I don’t think I should have to pay more then 30 bucks for a decent haircut.

Ugghhh being in the gutter is so miserable If I can’t afford 5 star haircuts how am I ever going to survive?!

I guess I’ll have to do part 2 recap once I get that new cut, to be continued…..

Gone speed,

Alfalfa

This is coming from the man who during week 3 of the bachelor came to her defense against America, I was her BIGGEST SUPPORTER!

When I wrote my first article about Corinne over a month ago, me and her had merely been fun pen pals who hung out 4 times over the last couple years, and just made out each time we saw each other. Never, and I repeat never, have I mentioned we dated. Let alone called her my “Ex girlfriend”.

I just decided to a write a fun little blog on my site defending her craziness on the show for the 5 people who were reading it at the time, harmless I thought. Then at the suggestion of a friend I posted it on Facebook figuring some girls might find it funny. I couldn’t believe how much it organically exploded, I never contacted a soul about it, everyone started coming to me out of nowhere. All I ever did was speak the truth, I was 100% TEAM CORINNE!

Fast forward to yesterday and she had this to say about me in an Exclusive with E! News……

Woahhh Corinne that was harsh! Shots fired!

You mentioned me completely unprovoked? I’m not even upset, I’m Impressed!

Especially about the part where you call me “Literally, Literally Zero. Never were anything, never anything”

Now to be honest, I’ve never considered us anything more than OLD FRIENDS.

Friendly enough however that we had this conversation as recently as a bit over a month ago; seemed like we were on pretty good terms I’d say…….

Wait she had a dream about me?  Wow, that seems like something you certainly wouldn’t say to someone who is “Literally, Literally a ZERO”

That agent idea was kind of smart though right?  I could definitely get her some gigs, I know people.

Unfortunately, the very next day on Jan 31st. the Us Weekly article came out, and that’s where things took a wild turn……

First off I was shocked considering Us Weekly didn’t tell me I was getting a full-blown cover article about just me and her. I mean I went from posting my first ever blog on Facebook to the cover of Usmagazine.com one week later?!! Absurddddd.

She of course was very upset with me for the US Weekly HEADLINE calling me her “Ex” which they used mainly for click-bait. I did apologize to her for their use of the “aggressive” title, because while I never said that over the phone I did refer to her as aggressive in my blog. I should have used the term “forward” instead, but who cares, it’s just a headline!

If she had decided to read the article she would have noticed I said nothing but nice things about her…. but god forbid REALITY SUPERSTAR Corinne Olympios have time to read anything!

Regardless I took it all in stride and thought it was pretty cool at the end of the day, but you know who didn’t think it was cool…..

CORINNE’S REAL “EX BOYFRIEND!”

A.K.A her CURRENT FIANCÉE!!! (According to a source) ….. you know the actual guy that all you tabloids are trying to scrape up!

Ooo trust me he is very real people, he exists!

Why did he care so much? Well he figured out the timeline of us hanging out was two years ago and sooner; and they’ve apparently been dating/together for 3 years so you do the math, he thought she cheated on him. Or at least that’s what I thought he was mad about when he was yelling at me on the phone! (Mind you they weren’t supposed to be in contact)

But that didn’t stop her from throwing me into a 3-way phone call with him only to get my ear chewed out by him!!! I was ambushed!

Then after he didn’t let me get a word in the first time and hung up on us ,we spoke afterward some more. She was like, sorry, I guess he doesn’t want to speak with you.

Ok thank god that was scary. Then she texts me this…

Sooo now she wanted me to sit there and lie to this kid. I have no clue who he is, for all I know I’m being recorded by her people, I didn’t know what was going on, I’m just a blogger god dammit!

I didn’t want to lie, but I attempted to because she asked as a friend.  Only problem was he was one step ahead of her because he saw my Instagram post about us not dating but “hooking up”. I thought I was doing her a favor by saying that, considering I never once tried to claim we dated.

He then asked me man to man if we kissed, and I said yes, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’m sorry, I’m no liar, and by the end of the phone call he seemed more mad at Corinne.  But what did I know about their relationship,  I barely knew Corinne!

He was kind of scary that’s all I know but she assured me everything was fine….

Then she told me she wanted to meet me in Los Angeles the next night to discuss everything and I thought everything was cool. I figured it was just a misunderstanding and we were still friends. She told me to keep everything quiet and of course I agreed, I wasn’t trying to ruin a friendship over some stupid tabloid nonsense.

We spoke about what her future plans were, and what mine were, everything seemed good. I brought up the agent thing as a joke, but then we spoke about the possibility that if I could get her a cool gig,  she’d be interested in doing it.

So I tried a couple places and was finally able to bring her a really good opportunity to appear on Barstool Sports After the Bachelor show. She had no clue who they were but I knew it would be a great platform for her to expand her brand to a new audience.

We 3-way phone called in with the producers, she agreed to everything, I was pumped. I decided to fly back to New York from LA to go with her when she was going to appear on the show.

Then just over a week ago during the Oscars Red Carpet party which she attended, the night before she was set to do the Barstool show, apparently people had told her I was running around NYC talking about being her “Ex” still. I can’t help what other people say but those words never came from my mouth. She called me yelling at me and said she might not do the show anymore.

However while she was in New York the next day she decided to string me and the Barstool producers along all night still thinking she was going to show only to bail at the last second.

Needless to say this wasn’t a great look for me, and as far as I was concerned that was the final straw with me and her. I was upset and disappointed for sure, but I never planned on bashing her or telling the truth, I just figured I would let it go, I was completely over the Bachelor bullshit.

She’s a big-time Reality Star now, Rich, FAMOUS, certainly didn’t have time for some broke blogger with under 300 followers who was “making up lies”. Seriously though, she really doesn’t owe me anything, I mean we legit have only hung out 4 times ever, we barely know each other!

So that was what I thought would be the last of me and her……..

That was until of course she just put me on blast to E! News and tried to TARNISH MY GOOD NAME YESTERDAY!

That I won’t stand for, if your going to come at me Corinne your going to get EXPOSED!

Your bachelor stint was a complete sham and now the whole town knows it!

You HAD A FIANCÉE THE ENTIRE SHOW!

You FAKED THE WHOLE THING!

I’ll spare the internet the details because there’s no need for another kid to get dragged through the mud and bothered by the press as well but trust me I know exactly who her “Mystery man/ real ex boyfriend/fiancée” is!

Anyways….. this once and for all, is the last I shall ever be writing about this subject hopefully. Unless of course she decides to wage a WAR with me, which in that case, BRING IT ON!

If you can’t handle the Heat, Get out of the GUTTER Corinne! #BermanTellAll

Check, and Mate.

Gone Speed,

Keith Berman

Follow me on Snap and Insta for more juicy details……….

@RealKeithBerman

Is this even a question, I mean for god sakes its 2017.

Even five years ago when I was a little prepubescent boy scout back in college, it was still considered absurd to be exclusively dating someone.

Now, with fucking DATING APPS?

Are you kidding me?! It’s like fishing with dynamite.

The chicks are so horny it’s not even fair!

Seriously though…if a girl is on a dating app, she’s on there for a reason. I don’t care what she says; the whole town knows she’s certainly not there because Aunt Sally wants her to bring home a nice gentleman for Mahjong night!

It’s a numbers game, and these days, we have access to an infinite number of girls 24/7. How can you even consider settling down?

Between campus, dorms, frats, classrooms, bars…there was enough opportunity in a pre-dating-app world for almost any guy to have trouble keeping it down all day.

Now, there’s all that normal stuff plus 37 “different-ways-to-easily-get-laid” apps.

It’s basically à la carte. What are you looking for today, fellas? Black, white, Jewish, Christian, Pakistani, tall, short, kinda chubby…you name it, they got it.

It doesn’t even matter where you go to school. You could be somewhere in the middle of Podunk, Iowa and you‘ll still find some lucky ladies on farmersonly.com, BOOM.

Really into toes? Well perfect. Just hop on over to the Foot Fetish Network and find yourself a freak to bring home to mommy and daddy this Christmas!

Unless by some grace of god you somehow bagged that one perfect 10 supermodel (who is probably dating someone on the football team already), there’s actually no excuse. If you have a girlfriend in college at this moment, I‘m seriously going to bring your sexuality into question, no joke.

Getting ass in school these days is easier than ordering a late night pizza. Think about it. The pizza might take 45 minutes, show up with only half the order and be cold by the time it arrives. But you better believe if you work that Tinder game right, that girl will Uber over in 10 minutes and be ready to goooooo.

You think “Netflix and chill” is new? Pshhh, it was invented back in college decades ago, ever heard of “Blockbuster and bang?!” Trust me, it was a thing!

It’s at the point where it would be weird as fuck if you actually offered to take a girl out on a date.

Random college chick: “Hey guys, Bobby just offered to come pick me up and take me out for a fancy dinner. Should I call the police?”

What’s next? You’re going to start opening doors and pulling chairs out for them to sit?! Madness I tell you, MADNESS!

So let’s recap for a second here. You can get stoned and play Fifa all day without moving or spending a nickel…and order yourself up a blowjob with a side of fries?!

Jesus Christ.

I‘m not even jealous, I‘m impressed!

Do college dudes even have time to jerk off anymore or are they just too busy fucking 24/7?

Wow…what a time to be alive.

R.I.P. to any woman hoping to having a real romantic relationship in the year 2017.

Hide your kids, hide your wives (no seriously, hide them from these apps). No women are safe.

It’s a brave new world folks.

Pandora ain’t going back in the box… and by no means gentleman, should you be coming anywhere near, having an actual girlfriend in college!

Gone Speed,

Van Wilder

Simple, It’s basically this unspoken rule between bartenders that when you meet another bartender you hook them up.

It’s just the way it works. You give them free drinks, quicker service, whatever it may be.

The reason you also do it is this, most of the time when you give free drinks other bartenders wind up compensating you by tipping more.

It makes perfect sense yet most people don’t get it, bartenders do.

Plus bartenders just like to hook up other bartenders because they know they would get the same when they are in a bar.

The key is to approach it the right way and just casually mention it at the right time and to the right bartender. Some people are assholes and don’t give a shit but most of the time when you tell someone you’ll get an unexpected free drink.

Don’t believe me? Either did my roommate Mark until all the sudden, every single time we’ve gone out that I mentioned it, we’ve been given free drinks.

Bartenders Code, its a real thing people, trust me.

Gone speed,

KB

P.S- Start giving bartenders HUGE TIPS and thank me later when you get a bunch of free drinks next time from them.

All I know was this was my first ever foray into this territory and I’m not going to lie, I think its a REAL thing.

Sooo the day of Packers NFC championship game I’m hanging out at the bar with this packers chick all game and before you knew it was 24-3 at half.

Yes I was definitely miserable that whole second half.

But then again when the packers chick started rubbing her ass into my crotch and playing handsy with me I wasn’t going to complain.

We didn’t know what to do at that point, but all we knew was that we didn’t want to be at the bar anymore and we needed someone to hold.

Eventually we went back to her place and of course this is literally the first time in ages I forget to bring condoms! Lucky me she had a box of them in her drawer.

I would normally be creeped out but it was unopened and this girl had an innocence about her I have a feeling she’s more safe then slutty. (I hope)

Regardless I have a condom on now so fuck it what’s the worse that can happen?

Somehow I went through like 4. I haven’t left my couch in a decade I don’t know where the energy came from for this.

Maybe I was angry, upset, disappointed I can’t pinpoint it all. Or maybe its simply because I legit hadn’t had sex in over a month! Either way all of these things plus some liquor and weed in my system combined to make me super horny and so I went to pound-town on a title-town chick!  (Alright that was cheesy as fuck but it sounded cooler in my head and I won’t delete it now because I’m an honest man!)

Seriously though between blowjobs and sex we must have been messing around for hourssss.

I think Chaz Reynhold was REALLY on to something guys…. GRIEF IS NATURES STRONGEST APHRODISIAC!!!

I mean hypothetically if the packers had won the game everybody is kissing everybody, massive group hug orgies, riots in the streets, pandemonium, packers are going to to the Superbowl! Everybody is getting weirdddddd!

God knows what was going to happen. But no, we were grieving and by that I guess it means fucking away our sorrows?!

Shock,grief, awe, call it what you will but Sex is Sex and I had plenty of it!

I’m not going to lie in that moment I completely forgot about the packers it was fantastic.

Did It make up for this cold spell and the packers loss?  Hell no. But it was nice to get back on the wagon that’s for sure!

If grief leads to wild sex more often then sign me the fuck up folks!

Gone Speed,

Chaz

I knew absolutely nothing about Burlesque. I was convinced to go by my roommate who was meeting an old friend there.

I was down, why not, I’ll try anything once!

Sooo we went over to this funny spot and there’s a 15 dollar cover… Ewww.

I mean I guess it’s a “show” so technically they can charge us. We walk in and there’s some gay guy on the mic. Little did I know that 80% of the show was this funny looking man doing standup.

The place is pretty packed so we can’t even get close, we have to chill by the back bar. Which actually worked out alright because half the show the “strippers” or “performers” (I don’t know what you call burlesque people?!) would come back and strip on the bar.

Then again the only gay dude performer spent his entire show there shaking his ass in front our faces. For some reason I couldn’t look away, I don’t know what that says about my straightness?

Anyways half the strippers were overweight the others were just average. Some wouldn’t even take all there clothes off. Some would wait until the end and take their tops off after a long “exotic” dance, only to have nipple tassels on of course.

At the very end there was a really HOT women to cap off the show but even she didn’t get almost naked until the last 10 seconds. Overall the show was pretty damn lame if you ask me.

I mean I don’t know what I expected but Burlesque to me sounds like I should be seeing some TITS which I did not!  I was definitely a bit disappointed that’s for sure.

I guess I’ll have to find my way to a strip club out here eventually and let you all know what that’s like.

Just a simple man exploring LA without a penny to my name. I should probably work on that income stuff soon or this blog is going to cease to exist when I’m out living on the street for reals and some homeless guy jacks my laptop!

Gutter Life can be real stressful sometimes, I wouldn’t wish it upon my dearest of enemies. But heck, I chose this lifestyle and I made my bed(couch) so now I have to lie in it.

Just out here chasing the THE DREAM.

Gone Speed,

KB

When I first started this thing it was basically a glorified internet journal. I’m well aware that it’s been filled mostly with sex stories and absurd escapades of mine more then just random blogs about life.

That will most likely change once this thing is fully public but for now I will let everyone enjoy the craziness that was my first 4 months in LA. I didn’t even blog half the things ridiculous things that happened over the last month or so while I was waiting to see how I wanted to play out all this stuff with the bachelor nonsense.

****Anyways if you want to do it right once again, scroll to the bottom and start reading up to follow the stories along in order of the way things happened. Or just pop around and read whatever blogs you want either way all the blogs on there are live to read. (besides a couple really inappropriate ones I had to keep hidden and private for now)

I get that many will want to make “Tucker Max” comparisons which I don’t mind. However I’d like to think the first thing people would say about me isn’t being a huge asshole.  Anyways you guys haven’t heard even 90% of the stories I have like that guy, this is just what went down in a span of 4 months,  I got a lifetime of these things just you wait!

For those that know me I pride myself on being a good friend and person. As long as my family and best friends know that, then its all good in my book. I know the way I talk and make jokes may offend some girls and I’m sorry its all for pure entertainment.

At the end of the day I really hope that I can start to bring AWARENESS TO MENTAL HEALTH. If you haven’t noticed from my videos that’s something that’s really important to me. That and building something special out here. I’m not trying to just be successful alone, for anyone that knows me well I’m trying to build a team with me for whatever my next endeavors might be.

I’ve been in talks with some HUGE companies and they are paying attention to everything I’m doing right now. Whether I get involved with them or not I’m going to be hiring a team in the near future so if you want any involvement in what I’m doing just follow along and figure out a way that you can help. (I need a lot of it). For instance I need a full time editor my grammar is terrible!

Anyways, If you haven’t already signed up for the alerts I suggest you do so. Once I release the blog I’m going to start firing out tons of blogs randomly.

Stay tuned there’s some crazy things happening all day today but for now all the blogs are going live this afternoon!

You guys may never look at me the same again, that’s alright I’m ready for whatever happens.

Alright keep your eyes peeled its the day you’ve all been waiting for….

This afternoon…. LIVE FROM THE GUTTER GOES FULLY LIVE!

Gone Speed,

Keith