Snowing in Los Angeles!

***For the purposes of these next few stories I’ll be changing some names around to protect everyones Identity from my madness. Not everyone has no rules on the internet anymore like I do!

Anyways Sooo I finally had my first official visitors to La La Land!

And by that I mean my roomate Mark had two of his best home friends Evan and Ben over. But Ben happened to be one of my best campfriends and It wasn’t too long before their friend Evan became my Facebook official BFF, so lets just say the love fest was on from the start.

Mark had to go to work the next day so it was going to be on me to entertain our guests thursday evening. Mind you I had a 9:30am meeting with a recruiter but that sure as shit wasn’t going to stop me from having fun night one!

Sooo whats the first thing Evan and Ben decide to do once they arrive at the apartment?…

Yup, You guessed it!

ORDER UP SOME DAT CUCAINEEEEEE. (You don’t want none of that cocaine Dewey!)

Jesus so now Its going down like that, I guess this will be a big test to my NYE resolution that’s for sure. Sooo we start pregaming and getting ready for the night and that’s when Mark decides fuck work he’s coming out with us!

We’re such bad influences but fuck it weekends like this only come around once in a blue moon no holding back! YOLOOOOOO

Speaking of not holding back, after paying my share of the rent I had less then $200 dollars to my name so god knows how I was going to finagle all this fun in one weekend with no money.

But as I always say… Never let money get in the way of a good time!

We decided to head over to this place in Venice its this pretty cool spot but on this thursday it happened to be just decent. Regardless it was a really fun night. We hit on and got turned down by a bunch of chicks (standard evening) nothing insane. We did almost get these 2 girls to come back to our place to swim, we were soooo close!

Problem for me was I had to wakeup in less then 5 hours and put a goddamn monkey suit.

Of course also there was the matter of doing all this while Evan was strewn across the living room in the way of all my shit and Ben was passed out on the other half of the couch.

To make matters worse for some reason my two real roomates decided to have a full blown loud ass conversation at 6am before work as if us 3 fools weren’t dead asleep in the living room! So now I’m up and haven’t slept a lick!

I felt like absolute shit and I couldn’t breathe for some reason even though I didn’t do a single line. I met the recruiter and was trying to keep myself from throwing up the whole time. It was sloppy but luckily it was just some stupid recruiter meeting, they basically only place for boring ass desk jobs I’m pretty sure.

Chances of me sitting in some office 8 hours a day and working on excel sheets are the same chances I’m going to ever live in New York again…. NONE!

When I got home Mark was at work, so I decided to show the boys around Venice. Not before they woke up to some blow of course. Nothing gets you out of bed in the morning quite like Cocaine. Hell of a drug it is!

We walked the Venice boardwalk for a couple hours and when we got home it was partyyyy time.

Time to turn this apartment into a FRAT HOUSE. Nothing says its a party like some beer pong so we created a make shift pong table from one of Mark’s pieces of furniture.

Mind you its like early afternoon and of course of all weekends I have a serious 2nd round Interview coming up at 10:30 Saturday morning. Ughh another hangover monkey suit wakeup is on the docket and were already playing pong by 3pm this could get uglyyyy.

Sooo we play some pong the table is tiny and funky it takes me a while to even figure out how to shoot on that thing. I lose my first 3 games and I’m basically drunk. I didn’t get shut out but it wasn’t one of my best days on the table I’ll just say that.

Anyways now Mark gets home so we keep playing pong for a while and then we get a call from Evan’s cousin Sam that she wants to pregame the already expensive dinner she has planned for us!

Sam, (Evan’s cousin) had decided that she would be the official Party planner for everything that was going down all weekend. Which was totally fine by all of us, I hate being the guy making plans except the one problem for me was she couldn’t care less about money and I’m kind of on the BROKE BUDGET!

She decides to take us to the Bungalow of all places before dinner. Just what we need expensive drinks to start the evening. Insult to Injury the majority of those pong games I lost were for free drinks so now I’m really fucked!

We hangout there for a bit and actually at one point start playing pool with these two very attractive sisters. Nothing turns me on quite like hot sisters!

I got the younger ones number and so yes there was a chance either of them were in play during this “Sisters weekend” they were having since one was from out of town.

Sooo then we head off to dinner with Sam and her friends and she takes us to some fancy shmancy place. Ooo boy this is going to be some damage to my bank account. Sure enough the bill runs us all almost $100 bucks! Dinner was fireee though I’ll say that the place was a sick spot.

But Jesus christ lets just spend 50% of my money on the first damn dinner of the weekend why don’t I!

Uhh oooo I guess most drinks the rest of the weekend will have to be on the boys!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!! #CaliSavages4Life

Alright so now its off to the next bar. At this point I’m real fucked up I’ve clearly been hitting the vape pen all evening as well obviously. Not sure where we even went but it was fun. Mark my roommate who had just broken up with his girlfriend was finally having a fun night out I was pumped about that.

Until of course some dudes started hitting on him and no it wouldn’t be the first time that happened all weekend!

Anyways were all having fun and at some point I’m starting to fade out a bit but the next thing I know when I come to, I’m dancing and kissing this really cute chick.

I wind up going back to her place somehow and my friends are gone or so I thought and I think I’ve completely forgotten that I have a serious interview at 10:30am in the morning!

By then I was so blacked out I don’t really remember what happened once I went back other then there was a fire pit involved and I burnt half my shoe off! (Part of my shoe is burnt off on the bottom so yes this part was very accurate)

Anyways I stumble back towards the apartments when I hear a noise coming from the place. It’s like 4am and my roommates go to bed early whats going on?

I stroll on in and theres music cranking and my boys and Sam’s friends are all playing beer pong! There’s one chick passed out completely on the Aero Bed and another on my couch!

I have an interview in 5 hours and this is what’s going on?!

I’m not gonna lie I wasn’t even upset one bit…… I was impressed!

We’ve never had any such postgame nonsense go down at our apartment. Both of my roommates were awake and the place was a party I fucking loved it. I probably didn’t get to bed until 6 am that morning for the 10:30 interview but it was such a fun night!

I knew I could get myself together for this interview I definitely was going to bring my A game even under these conditions. I woke up popped advil, slammed down a 5 hour energy and I decided not to shower! (I weirdly think this worked my hair was ready to go and I sprayed cologne all over myself so much easier)

I don’t know if it was the way I drank the night before or all those things combined but I actually felt fantastic.(Definitely was the not showering!)

Ahhh wait a second and then it hit me while I was still in the UBER why I felt so good…..

I WAS STILL DRUNK!!!

I was drinking until 5 something my body hasn’t had enough time to sober up!

Sooo I guess I was off to my interview a little tipsy. Oooo well I’ve done crazier things drunk before this shouldn’t be a problem.

Anddd believe it or not I had a fantastic interview! As of now I actually have no idea if I got the job or not theres 5 other guys up for the job who might have more experience or a better relationships through friends then me.

But as far as interviews go and I’ve been on too many to count, this one went fantastic I could tell!

Sooo off I was back to the apartment, we were supposed to go hiking it was beautiful out but because we had a hard deadline on making it back for the Patriots game later we wound up heading to brunch.

This wasn’t just any Brunch this was apparently the best Brunch spot in LA! Great thanks Sam just what I need to do drop 50 bucks on breakfest! I could have whipped up scrambled eggs in our apartment for 50 cents!

Once we get there we all keep drinking Mimosas or Bloody Marys. At this point It was actually good for me because I was getting hungover, and the name of the game is to just constantly keep the drinks flowing so your always drunk and never hungover on a party weekend!

Of course our final tabs were all 50 bucks for brunch duhhhhh.  Urghhhh Jesus I’m blowing all my money on food!

Sooo we left and we decided to walk around a bit real quick before we went back and changed for the evening, because by the time brunch was over we only had a couple hours until the 5:30pm Pats game.

We are literally just walking down the street when who do I see. Ahhh its my NYE Cocaine Black Brothers! I still haven’t officially blogged NYE yet jesus maybe this is a sign that I need to!

I had literally just been talking about them because they were the reason I had chosen not to do any more cocaine all weekend. Mind you my boys had been doing lines all damn day like it was fucking water.

I swear to god though my two black friends gave me the best reception anyone has maybe ever given me! I mean we had a sick night but like these dudes fucking loved me they started yelling for legit 2 minutes on the street corner. They even gave me a 30 second Oreo Sandwich while yelling my name they wouldn’t let me out!

What made this moment even funnier is my friends had no idea who they were. You would have thought maybe they were like some of my best home friends growing up the way they just greeted me.

Nope turns out its just my reason I’m Cocaine Free 2017 Black friends! They were even more excited when I whipped out my damn Vape pen that they had been chuffing on all evening on NYE. Maybe that was it they like me for my Pen?! Do people only like me now because I have a Vape Pen on me at all times?!!!  I have feelings too guys!

Anyways we part ways not before of course one of them mentions that Brittany Spears coke guy is coming to meet them in ten minutes. Jesus it really is snowing in LA this weekend!

Alright so it was time for us to leave wherever the hell we were and head back for a quick nap and then off to this apparently Famous Boston Sports Bar called Sonny Mcleans.

And unfortunately this is where I shall leave you because Good Ole Sunny’s is deserving of its very own blog so this weekend is too be continued…..

Gone Speed,

Drunk Uncle

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